I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
