If that was your dad, he is hot
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
