Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
they need to just BURY HIM!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
