I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
