she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
