you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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