he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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