Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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