The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
