I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
