I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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