If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
