you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
