I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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