there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
