I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
