I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
