You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
