I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
