is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
accomplished twins. life is a go
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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