I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
