It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
