next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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