i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
