I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
