ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
