I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
