Are we in a gay sports bar?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
