I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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