Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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