I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
