He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
