guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
