direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
