Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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