Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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