You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
