U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
