Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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