I seem to have left my pride at pride
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
