I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
