Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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