I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just found a bag of teeth...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
