you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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