Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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