i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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