The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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