Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
