She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I am naked and annoyed.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
