I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
