So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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